Monday, July 12, 2010

happy birthday, sweet bird

dear harper,

when i started this blog, my thought was to chronicle our life together. and so far so good. it has become as much an expression of my interests (music, fashion, love) as a timeline of your life...not to mention a record of the hilarious quotes that come out of your mouth.

i called it "the sweet bird" to serve as my reminder to both feather your nest as well as prepare you for inevitable flight.

this year you have flown circles around me.

if i don't have much to say here it's because i struggle to keep up. not in that home/work/life balance way but more in that shit man, look at her go kind of way.

i have done my best to quell my aching heart this year. when i get you back from your dad and danielle's, i want to clutch you to my chest and fold you under my wing, but you just want to to fly, fly, fly out of the house and into the park to play with friends and hula hoop for the neighbors and make lemonade for the cyclists passing by.

selfishly i cry to dave and to myself because i want more of you. more time, more space, more everything.

but when i tuck you in at night and look at you so happily tired from your day, i know i am steering your course. the breath that comes from your open lips is not a sweet as it was when you were a baby, instead it smells of all that you are tasting:

assertiveness, vulnerability, independence, self-expression...whimsy.

this is what i wanted, right?

love you so much that my seams are bursting,


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