Sunday, April 5, 2009

my imaginary boyfriend


okay. it's been three months and i'm finally ready to talk about it.

it happened like this: it was a tuesday in january and i was in need of a great read- something i could totally sink my teeth into and devour in one night. turns out, i found it: the secret lives of people in love by simon van booy. or as i like to say, the secret lives of people in love by the man with the british accent who looks like johnny depp and who is a widower with a daughter the same age as harper. he writing is so poignant and beautiful, i just about lost my mind the first few times i read his book. i crushed the open pages down on to my heart so deeply, that i bruised my ribs.

after this experience, i felt compelled to contact him...so of course, i did. i facebooked him late one night and we began chatting. turns out, he saw that i lived in colorado and took my glasses as a sign that i was part of the librarian's conference that he was to be attending in denver that weekend. so we made a date to meet on sunday.

i'd like to tell you how it went but i can't exactly remember. i just know that i was glowing and happy and that it lasted five hours and that when we walked to our cars to say goodnight, i realized that i was truly enjoying snow for the first time in my life. i remember us hugging and thanking each other for a beautiful night. i also remember being so flummoxed that i backed into a parked car.

and then it was over...but then the pr kicked in.

i told everyone with ears about this book. and they listened. and they freaked the fuck out as well. for a while there, i felt like i was running a simon van booy hotline. i would take calls from friends at all hours of the day who wanted to talk about it or read me a passage or just, you know, commiserate in the sweet pain of knowing that someone had completely and utterly mastered love...in a book.

and then i spun out.

i spent the next several weeks thinking about love. every spare moment of my day was spent on love. and then the lack of love came crashing in. i realized that i wanted to be loved the way the characters lived in his book. and this realization was a perfect mix of enlightenment, resolve and torture. and it hasn't subsided. but thank god my crush on him did.

i had a chance to see him in manhattan a couple of weeks ago. he was doing some work at the metropolitan museum and invited me up for tea. i almost went to see him but then i thought i'd rather just live with the memory we'd created in january and leave things as they were. besides, i had another man on the line for that day anyway. and you know what they say, a bird in the hand...

we still text and facebook from time to time (he calls me frenchy) and he asks about h and i ask about m and we trade a few laughs and call it a night. i will always owe simon a debt of gratitude for showing me how deeply love can be experienced. the way i see it, i've got a lot to look forward to.

his new book comes out next month and he's promised me a copy for my birthday. it's the least he can do after turning my world upside down.

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